Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you have to admit that persistence is a sign of insanity. Hi Ladies,
How do you feel today? I know one month is a very short period of time and almost every human could manage a month of commitment. Yet, today, I had one of my biggest setback ever and I'm not sure I'd be able to be 100% supportive and kind and sweet. The reason is pretty simple, I feel weak and so vulnerable. I feel like the whole world will collapse if I breathe or simply if I open my eyes without crying. I'm not used to whine or complain. Those of you who know me are aware of my story and they know my background. I've been through hell and I'm still there.. almost alive, almost human, almost happy and desperately trying to figure out how to stay positive, how to use my brain to be crystal clear about my sanity... I've used my pain and my scars to create a sacred space like this website for each and every woman who needs a place to be safe, to feel secure, and to get a virtual hug, an empathic ear to listen, a warm shoulder to rest. I wanted you and me to know that somewhere, there is a peaceful heaven where you can rest and get rid of negativity. I wanted to support you as much as I would have love to be supported. I wanted to give you much more than I've even received in my entire life. I've done my best to hang on... to smile when I was crying inside, to be happy when I was dreaming of dying. It's not self pity... it's my hard cruel point of view. Being strong, being capable, being committed, being the only girl who can deal with horror, who is able to endure every little liars that my so called friends want me to hear... is exhausting... It's too much! At the end of the day, I feel fragmented... I feel drained because no one of them were ready to hear my story and to support me. To keep it short, I'll do my best to write you as much as I can... each day, for you, because I do care about you and you deserve my commitment. You are not the reason why I feel so blue. What's up? Feel free to use the comment section below to share your thoughts with our community about how you feel when you have a day out. Remember that Obviously B. is your place to discover who you are, cherish yourself and reach your own potential. With all my love. |
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